The dirty word called infertility

No one tells you or warns you about the possiblity of having struggles to conceive. The dirty word that is called infertility. The new middle finger that pops up when you find out you can’t get pregnant easily. It’s one of those taboos that some people are either scared to talk about or they are not very knowledgeable about it so they ignore the elephant in the room. The elephant being that over 1 in 8 people will struggle to get pregnant. Health class as a kid teaches you about the basic anatomy of your body and abstinence while high school & college teaches to wear condoms/ take birth control and how easy it is to get pregnant. Unfortunately unless you know someone who has infertility or you have been through it yourself, there is very little education on the matter.  Infertility is an unspeakable monster that I wouldn’t ever wish on my own worst enemy. You feel jealous, you feel angry and to be honest sometimes you feel unworthy. We put so much pressure onto ourselves as women. I mean our bodies are built to carry another human life, so why must it be so hard for some of us to do so? Every time I would see that negative sign on the test my heart would break and it would go on to be that way for two and a half years. The first year was undiagnosed secondary infertility and then with year two I was finally diagnosed with pcos (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and we began seeing a fertility specialist. Pokes, prods, and hormones galore, I felt like a human ginny pig.